Missing You
by Bindy417
Summary: One-shot inspired by episode 3x07. Haley found her mind flooded with a rush of images. The emotions behind them were so strong that her breath literally caught in her throat. And they all had one thing in common: Nathan.


**Missing You**

By Bindy417

Disclaimer: I don't own _One Tree Hill_. It belongs to Mark Schwahn and The CW. The title and lyrics featured in this story are from the song "Missing You" performed by Tyler Hilton.

Summary: One-shot inspired by episode 3x07. Haley found her mind flooded with a rush of images. The emotions behind them were so strong that her breath literally caught in her throat. And they all had one thing in common: Nathan.

Author's Note: Hey, guys. So I'm finally able to post this fic. It's dedicated in celebration of The Romantics 1,000th thread on the OTH board at Fanforum. I was watching episode 3x07 and thought it'd be interesting to actually explore the moment when Haley decided to leave the tour and return home. I hope you guys like it, and please review!

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Thunderous applause filled the stadium. Cheers could be heard as cameras flashed from all different directions. Haley smiled out at the crowd, humbled. She always appreciated the love and support the fans gave her. They may not have originally bought tickets to the show to see her. It was The Wreckers and Gavin DeGraw who were the headliners of the tour. But that didn't stop the audience from shouting her name or singing along to her songs. By the end of each show, it seemed like Haley had gained more and more fans of her own. And that was a wonderful feeling.

"Thank you, Springfield!" Haley said into the microphone. The crowd was still going wild. She'd just finished her set. After staying in New York for a couple of weeks, the tour had picked up again. Now they were in Illinois.

Haley waited another moment before continuing. "Thank you," she repeated. "Next up is Chris Keller. So let's hear it for him."

The crowd started screaming again as Chris strutted onto the stage. Haley shook her head discretely and smiled. He loved to bask in the attention. A moment later, he started to strum on his guitar and begin his song. Haley took a seat on a stool a little off to the side, out of the spotlight. After Chris sung his first two songs, they would then perform their hit single "When the Stars Go Blue."

The moment was eventually upon her. Chris sat on his own stool next to her as the spotlights centered on them. The cheers, as usual, got louder as they sung together. Even the audience started to join in towards the end. It was moments like this when Haley felt herself truly connect to the music and emotions of the fans. And even though he'd never admit it—Chris was never the sensitive type—she knew that he felt the same way.

"Let's give it up for Haley James, once again, everybody," Chris shouted once they were finished.

Haley waved to the crowd and was just about to get up and walk off stage when Chris halted her.

"No, stay," he said to her. Chris faced the audience again. "This is the first time I'll be performing this next song. It's dedicated to you, Haley."

Chris winked at her, which seemed to make the fans cheer louder. Haley felt herself tense up a bit but kept the smile on her face. She knew what he was doing. He was trying to make it look like to the fans that they were a couple. Their manger had suggested it. He said that people loved it when duos had actual feelings for each other behind the lyrics they were singing. It made Haley uncomfortable. She didn't want to go along with it, but no one seemed to care about her feelings on the matter. She and Chris were far from being a couple. They were barely friends. Sure, they had some moments where they got along and joked around. But recently those times seemed to be few and far between.

_Everytime I think of you  
I always catch my breath  
And I'm still standing here  
And you're miles away  
And I'm wondering why you left  
And there's a storm that's raging  
Through my frozen heart tonight_

Haley suddenly felt as if she'd been punched in the gut. She knew this song. It was a song from the 80s called "Missing You." Of all the things Chris could've sung, why did it have to be this one?

_I hear your name in certain circles  
And it always makes me smile  
I spend my time just thinking about you  
And it's almost driving me wild_

Haley found her mind flooded with a rush of images. The emotions behind them were so strong that her breath literally caught in her throat. And they all had one thing in common: Nathan. She'd tried so hard not to think about him ever since he'd visited her in Austin all those weeks ago. She'd been so surprised to see him. So relieved. It was hard not knowing what was going on in that mind of his when she couldn't see him. All she'd been able to do since she joined the tour was make scattered calls to him here and there.

He'd driven all the way from Tree Hill in an effort to keep their marriage alive. It hadn't gone well at all. He had appeared so lost and desperate and hurt. Haley didn't know how to handle it. She felt that way herself. The tour was so much bigger than her. So new. It was a lot to take in. She wasn't sure what they were going to do. But she had at least wanted to talk to him. Haley had never wanted to completely cut him out of her life. He was her husband, after all. That's why it had broken her heart when he didn't wait for her after the show. Nathan had just taken off without another word.

_But it's my heart that's breaking  
Down this long distance line tonight_

_And I ain't missing you at all  
Since you've been gone... away  
I ain't missing you  
No matter what I might say_

As Chris continued to sing, more memories seemed to pop up into her mind. She tried to push them back, once again, but it wasn't working. One, in particular, stood out more than the rest. Haley saw the audience fade away as the image became clearer.

"_I can't believe we just did that."_

"_Come on, you know you loved it."_

_Haley smiled as she felt Nathan's face nuzzling her neck. "Maybe so," she admitted. "But someone could've caught us, Nathan."_

"_Hales, it's pouring outside. I highly doubt anyone could've seen us in weather like this."_

_It had been just fifteen minutes ago that they'd made love out on the balcony of their apartment. It had started pouring early that Saturday morning and was supposed to continue the rest of the day. Haley didn't know what happened. One minute she was just standing near the edge of the railings with Nathan's arms wrapped around her, and the next they were kissing while practically ripping each other's clothes off. It hadn't even occurred to her that anyone in the parking lot could probably see them. Nathan, however, just brushed it off._

_Now the pair was sitting down on the floor of the balcony near the doorway. A blanket was wrapped around them. Haley didn't think anyone below would be able to see them from that angle. She sat between Nathan's legs with her back pressed up against his muscular chest. Even though their balcony had a cover, she could still feel the raindrops ricocheting off of the building and onto her skin. Haley shivered a bit. _

"_Are you cold?"_

"_A little," she answered. _

"_Do you want me to get you another blanket? Or maybe go back inside?"_

"_No. Just hold me," she requested and snuggled more into him. She didn't know what it was, but his skin always managed to feel warm. _

_Nathan's hold on her tightened. "Better?"_

"_Mmm…yes."_

_He laid a kiss on her shoulder. "Good." _

_A comfortable silence followed._

"_Peyton called earlier," Nathan stated a few minutes later. _

"_What'd she say?"_

"_She said that everything is all set for your performance next week." _

"_Ugh," Haley moaned. "I still cannot believe you sent her my song." _

_She and Peyton had been auditioning bands for Tric's all-ages night. The search hadn't gone well at all. None of the musicians that showed up seemed to be able to carry a tune. She and Peyton didn't know who they were going to get. Of course it was at that moment that Nathan had to send Peyton an MP3 of one of Haley's songs. As soon as Peyton heard it, she was ready to book her. Haley immediately had her reservations. Her music had always been very private to her. It took a while for her to feel comfortable even playing in front of Nathan. The thought of singing in front of a crowd scared her to death. _

"_Seriously, Hales, you're going to do great."_

"_That's what you think."_

"_I don't think. I know," Nathan replied. "You're a really talented musician, Hales. Your music is going to take you places."_

"_I don't want to be anywhere else," she muttered while grabbing his hand. She fingered his wedding ring. "I want to be with you."_

"_You will be." He ran his hands along her arms. "But there's no reason why you can't have dreams of your own, too."_

_Haley's eyes closed when she felt Nathan's lips touch her cheek. He slowly started to trail down her neck. She leaned her head back against him further, giving him better access. _"_And what about you?"_

"_What about me?" he mumbled against her skin._

"_High Flyers," she elaborated. _

"_Mmm…?"_

_As wonderful as his mouth felt on her at the moment, Haley pulled away a little bit. She never could concentrate when he kissed her like that. _

_Nathan groaned in disappointment. "Hales."_

_She couldn't help but smile. He sounded like a five year old who'd just gotten his favorite toy taken away from him. Haley turned slightly and leaned in to give him a quick, affectionate kiss. "You can have me as soon as we talk about this."_

"_But I want you now," he pouted._

"_Nathan, please," she requested while giving him her best puppy dog look._

"_You know I hate it when you do that." A full blown, knowing smirk was now on his face._

"_Sorry, babe, I had to break out the big guns," she joked._

_He sighed. "Fine. What about High Flyers? And make it quick, because you're looking really sexy right now. I don't know how long I'll be able to hold myself back." _

_Haley rolled her eyes in amusement. She teased, "You are so impatient."_

"_Only when it comes to you," he said with a cheeky smile. _

"_Are you sure you didn't get into High Flyers?" she questioned, getting to the point. "Maybe you were supposed to go, and they screwed up again."_

_High Flyers was like an all-star basketball boot camp. It was located in Florida, and only the best players in the country were invited down for the summer to train. Nathan had gotten a letter a couple of weeks ago. They'd thought that he'd gotten in, but there seemed to be some type of mix up. It turned out that Nathan hadn't gotten chosen. Haley couldn't understand that. She may not know that much about sports, but she was positive that her husband was one of the best basketball players out there. There had to be some type of error. Nathan definitely deserved to go to that camp._

_Nathan played with a loose string on the blanket. "I talked to them, Hales. There was a mistake. I really didn't get in."_

"_It doesn't make sense," she declared while caressing his cheek. "Who's this other jerk they accepted?"_

_Nathan chuckled and shrugged. "I don't know, baby. Besides, it doesn't matter."_

"_Of course it does."_

"_No, it doesn't. I've been playing basketball all my life, Hales—"_

"_Which is why you should've been accepted," she interjected._

"_I've already started working towards my dream," he continued. "Now it's your turn. I just know that you're going to be great."_

"_I'm glad you're so sure." She could feel the butterflies forming in her stomach just thinking about her performance next week. _

_Nathan turned her around so that she was straddling him. He then directed her gaze to his. "Hey, what was it that I told you?"_

"_You're supposed to believe in me when I don't believe in myself," she recited._

"_Exactly." _

_A low moan escaped her when he pulled her in for a deep, sensual kiss. Haley clutched him tightly as their lips and tongues glided against each other. It wasn't long before she felt Nathan laying her down on the floor, once again. She kissed the corner of his mouth when he adjusted the blanket under her. The balcony floor was a little on the cold side._

"_Promise me you'll let go and just have fun at Tric," Nathan whispered and placed a kiss behind her ear. _

_Haley practically shivered when his piercing blue eyes bored into hers. As scared as she felt, she had to admit that Nathan's words always did give her that extra shot of bravery that she needed. Haley ran a hand through his hair and gave him a small smile. "I'll try my best." _

_He returned his lips to hers. "I love you. You know that?" he murmured._

_She clutched him tighter. "I love you, too."_

Haley was shaken from her thoughts and jumped in her seat when she heard something move overhead. The house lights suddenly went up. It was then that Haley could see the audience. Except it wasn't a blur of people in the dark anymore. Every face was suddenly illuminated.

And to her dismay, not one of those faces was familiar.

Haley felt something snap inside of her. Her whole body began to shake uncontrollably. Before she even knew what was happening, her eyes began to fill with hot, salty tears. She tried to wipe them away, but it was no use.

A sob escaped her, causing Chris to frown and glance over at her. Haley could barely see his face she was crying so hard. She couldn't even hear the music or what Chris was trying to whisper to her. Her sobs were so loud. Everything around her seemed to disappear, and there was only one thing that she was acutely aware of: the ache in her heart.

Not being able to stand it one moment longer, Haley bolted from the stage. Her manager and members of the crews started coming up to her asking if something was wrong. Haley didn't answer them. She couldn't. They wouldn't understand. She just kept running until she reached her dressing room.

Haley locked the door behind her and sat in her chair at her dressing table. She placed her head in her hands and just cried. She cried about being homesick. She cried about the hectic life of the tour. She cried about the indecision she'd felt these last few months. But most of all, she cried about Nathan and the way she'd left things.

Haley had been so torn up inside ever since he visited her. Seeing Nathan in Austin had been a reality check. The newness of the tour and everything it had to offer during that time had Haley in a daze. She was living her dream and loving every second of it. Of course, Nathan had always been in the back of her mind. But it wasn't until he came to see her that she realized how much she missed him. How much she still wanted him. It scared her. Here she was on tour performing with artists who she'd only dreamt about meeting. She seemed to have it all. And it only took one visit from Nathan to bring her dream world crashing down around her.

Ever since that night, Haley felt an emptiness slowly growing inside of her. When Lucas and Brooke visited her in New York, the hole in her heart only got bigger. Her dream was to go on tour. But now that's all she had. No friends. No family. No husband. Just the tour.

She was lonely. Even with hundreds and thousands of people surrounding her every night, Haley never felt more isolated. Chris's song tonight only served to reinforce that. She should be sharing her achievements and wonderful moments with the people she loved. With Lucas and Nathan. Especially Nathan.

Haley looked at herself in the mirror and cringed at the young woman staring back at her. It wasn't because her face was red, her eyes were puffy, or her mascara was running. It was because she was ashamed of herself. When had she become so selfish?

Nathan was the person who had supported her. He had encouraged her to pursue her music and go after her dream. And what did she do? She walked out on him—on their marriage. Granted, he'd given her an unfair ultimatum. But if she'd just stayed behind a little longer, explained the real reason why she was leaving, then things probably wouldn't have been so bad between them.

As if that wasn't horrible enough, it made her ill to think about all of the ways she'd disgraced their marriage since then. She never should've taken off her wedding ring. She never should've let her manager and Chris make it seem to the public like they were a couple. Nathan had been so hurt in Austin. She could see it in his eyes that night. She would never forget the expression on his face before she left to go onstage. Aside from the pain coming off of him in waves, he'd looked so betrayed when he saw the absence of her wedding ring on her finger. The mere memory of it always made her feel sick to her stomach.

"Haley, what's going on?" her manager Joey called as he pounded on the door. "Are you okay? Open the door."

Haley cried harder as she rocked back and forth in her chair. She couldn't live like this anymore. The ache in her heart was so strong that it threatened to consume her. She wanted Nathan. She loved and needed him. None of this mattered without him. None of it was enough.

Haley wiped at her tears and grabbed her suitcase in the corner of the room. The band had been late getting to the stadium due to traffic, so they hadn't been able to check into a hotel yet. Haley was thankful for that now. She put her suitcase on top of the dressing table and opened it.

She heard more pounding and voices behind the door. As quickly as she could, she started throwing the rest of her things inside. She was still crying, but her sobs had at least stopped. Finally, she grabbed her guitar case. She lifted the instrument and picked up her wedding ring that was lying beneath.

Haley took a deep breath as she slid it back onto her finger. She felt a sense of strength return to her. It made her smile. Nathan had always made her brave. And even though Nathan wasn't physically there, she felt his presence through the ring he'd given her.

"Haley!" Joey yelled.

"Maybe we should break down the door."

"She's upset. Just leave her alone for awhile," another voice suggested.

Haley hastily checked her things to make sure she had everything. She then fixed her makeup, trying to look more presentable. Her eyes were still red and puffy, but it would have to do. She took another long, deep breath to get her emotions under control. When Haley felt ready, she finally opened the door.

"Haley, oh my God, why did you lock the door? Are you okay?" Joey asked.

"I'm fine," she answered. Her voice, much to her dismay, cracked at the end.

"Are you sure?" the stage manager pushed. "You just ran off stage."

"Are you going somewhere?" Joey was staring at the suitcase and guitar case in her hands.

Haley knew that they were all going to flip out when she told them. But she didn't care. This was something that she needed to do, and nobody was going to change her mind.

"Haley," Joey urged, panicked.

Haley tightened her grip on her luggage. It was now or never. She then said in a much stronger and determined voice than before, "I'm going home."


End file.
